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Random Updated Lines for "Twas the Night Before Christmas" | Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I chambered my AR and watched the carolers scatter. He sprang to his sleigh, and left with a roar, As I posted his security cam pic on NextDoor. Prancer refused to start pulling the sleigh, Until Santa remembered his pronoun is "they." He was dolled up in lace, toes to solar plexus, A look that breaks laws in the great state of Texas. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Holidays to all, and !@#$ the far right!" With Ma in her nightie and I in the buff, 'Tis not just her stockings I'm hoping to stuff. Rudolph had fallen! His leg was askew! So we had a nice breakfast of venison stew.

Updated Lines for "Twas the Night Before Christmas" | Selected from 71 submissions from 26 contributors. Credits: Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I chambered my AR and watched the carolers scatter. (Kim Moser, New York, NY) As he took to the skies, and left with a roar, as I posted his security cam pic on NextDoor. (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) (Tim H. Richweis, New Haven, CT) Prancer refused to start pulling the sleigh, until Santa remembered his pronoun is "they." (Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX) He was dolled up in lace, toes to solar plexus, a look that breaks laws in the great state of Texas. (Doug Finney, Houston, TX) But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-- "Happy Holidays to all, and !@#$ the far right!" (Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL) With Ma in her nightie and I in the buff, 'tis not just her stockings I'm hoping to stuff. (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL) Rudolph had fallen! His leg was askew! So we had a nice breakfast of venison stew. (LD Petterson, College Park, MD) (Mike Ranston, Scottsdale, AZ)

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Chris White

Dec 6, 2023

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