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Reasons Working From Home Was a Bad Idea | Had to cash in your 401(k) to cover the coffee and toilet paper. Napping at home just doesn't have the same "getting away with something" feel. It's a bitch getting the forklift up the stairs. Turns out your best customers enjoy the thrill of physically sticking the bills in your G-string. The Department of Defense keeps asking for their classified documents back. Insufficiently binding PJ pants fail to trigger the "I've got to eat less" message to your brain. The smell of your wife making liver and onions in the kitchen doesn't bode well for that liver transplant you're in about to perform. You now have to dress up for Casual Friday. All the vapid jagoffs making half-assed smalltalk sound like a Beethoven sonata compared to your Doberman's ten-times-daily lavish tongue-bathing of his own nutsack.

Reasons Working From Home Was a Bad Idea | Selected from 71 submissions sent in by 27 contributors. Today's authors: Had to cash in your 401(k) to cover the coffee and toilet paper. (Chris White, Olympia, WA) (Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL) Napping at home just doesn't have the same "getting away with something" feel. (Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA) It's a bitch getting the forklift up the stairs. (Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA) Turns out your best customers enjoy the thrill of physically sticking the bills in your G-string. (LD Petterson, College Park, MD) The Department of Defense keeps asking for their classified documents back. (Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA) Insufficiently binding PJ pants fail to trigger the "I've got to eat less" message to your brain. (Gretchen Kinka, Brookfield, IL) The smell of your wife making liver and onions in the kitchen doesn't bode well for that liver transplant you're in about to perform. (Kevin Freels, Sparks, NV) You now have to dress up for Casual Friday. (Vic Vitek, Tamworth, NH) All the vapid jagoffs making half-assed smalltalk sound like a Beethoven sonata compared to your Doberman's ten-times-daily lavish tongue-bathing of his own nutsack. (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL)

Top5 for 2/7/24

Chris White

Feb 7, 2024

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