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The Top 9 Reasons You Weren't Picked as a Candidate for Vice President | Didn't stick landing during interview. Your cavalier attitude when it comes to finishing sentences. Apparently, StatutoryGrapes was a poor choice for a SnapChat username. Guess they couldn't overlook that whole "third nipple" thing. You haven't kissed nearly enough ass, slacker! Your well-known support of Zager and Evans's Project 2525. Too many children. Not enough cats. Nobody's buying your "Why, no, my fine fellow. I'm not Joe Biden. My name is Sir Joseph Moniker" routine. Could have been your recent memoir, "The Thrill of the Chaise."

Reasons You Weren't Picked as a Candidate for Vice President | Selected from 81 submissions sent in by 30 contributors. Didn't stick landing during interview. (Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA) Your cavalier attitude when it comes to finishing sentences. (David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA) Apparently, StatutoryGrapes was a poor choice for a SnapChat username. (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL) Guess they couldn't overlook that whole "third nipple" thing. (Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL) You haven't kissed nearly enough ass, slacker! (Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH) Your well-known support of Zager and Evans's Project 2525. (Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA) Too many children. Not enough cats. (Kathleen Walder, Munroe Falls, OH) Nobody's buying your "Why, no, my fine fellow. I'm not Joe Biden. My name is Sir Joseph Moniker" routine. (Danny Gallgher, Dallas, TX) Could have been your recent memoir, "The Thrill of the Chaise." (Jim Phynn, Horsham, PA)

Top5 for 8/7/24

Chris White

Aug 7, 2024

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